Comments on: When is it Time to Leave an Alcoholic? http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/ Web 2.0 Marketing, Social Media Strategy & Serial Entrepreneur Wed, 05 May 2010 18:29:41 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: laura http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-60464 laura Wed, 05 May 2010 18:29:41 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-60464 hi~ i have posted on this blog several times and i am happy to say that i am finally officially divorced from my alcoholic husband. and, i have become engaged to the most wonderful, caring, loving man in the world. i am living proof that staying in an abusive relationship is not healthy and that things can change for you if you just remove yourself from the toxic lifestyle of being with an alcoholic. i never knew what it like to be loved because my ex husband loved alcohol more than me. i pray for each of you that you will make the best choice for you. laura hi~
i have posted on this blog several times and i am happy to say that i am finally officially divorced from my alcoholic husband. and, i have become engaged to the most wonderful, caring, loving man in the world. i am living proof that staying in an abusive relationship is not healthy and that things can change for you if you just remove yourself from the toxic lifestyle of being with an alcoholic. i never knew what it like to be loved because my ex husband loved alcohol more than me. i pray for each of you that you will make the best choice for you.
laura

]]> By: Rachel http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-59318 Rachel Mon, 08 Feb 2010 00:04:49 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-59318 I have been with my alcoholic partner for 4 years. We have one daughter who is three years old. I split with my partner when my daughter was 6 months old, and he moved out of the home and into his own flat. We got back together a few months later, although i have not let him move back in. I have dealt with his alcoholism by sending him home if he turns up drunk. He admits he had a problem but will not stick to any help he has been given. I am really at the end now, i have told him that unless he admits himself to re-hab we will split for good. The saddest thing is our daughter cherishes him and he does her when he is in his sober state. But i am so scared of the effect that his problems will have on her. I want to run away with her so that she cannot be hurt. I wish i had a magic button to press to make him better. He has never been violent and i totally believe that he loves us with all his heart, as we do him. Toady is Sunday and he has said today that he is going to the Doctors tomorrow - i dont belive him, Its so hard to leave someone who has two different personalities. A loving sober side and an uncaring selfish drunk side. I wish you all luck and im sorry that my story doesnt offer help or inspiration - it just offers my thoughts from my heart. I always follow my heart and it has gotten me nowhere. Im heartbroken if i stay or if go i lose the love of my life. I have been with my alcoholic partner for 4 years. We have one daughter who is three years old.

I split with my partner when my daughter was 6 months old, and he moved out of the home and into his own flat. We got back together a few months later, although i have not let him move back in.

I have dealt with his alcoholism by sending him home if he turns up drunk. He admits he had a problem but will not stick to any help he has been given.

I am really at the end now, i have told him that unless he admits himself to re-hab we will split for good.

The saddest thing is our daughter cherishes him and he does her when he is in his sober state. But i am so scared of the effect that his problems will have on her.

I want to run away with her so that she cannot be hurt. I wish i had a magic button to press to make him better. He has never been violent and i totally believe that he loves us with all his heart, as we do him.
Toady is Sunday and he has said today that he is going to the Doctors tomorrow – i dont belive him, Its so hard to leave someone who has two different personalities. A loving sober side and an uncaring selfish drunk side.

I wish you all luck and im sorry that my story doesnt offer help or inspiration – it just offers my thoughts from my heart. I always follow my heart and it has gotten me nowhere. Im heartbroken if i stay or if go i lose the love of my life.

]]> By: Katie http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-59056 Katie Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:55:52 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-59056 I read the posting from Jen Dec 1 and it really spoke to me. My husband's reputation preceeded our meeting, and I knew what I was getting into when we initiated a relationship. Two years later, we married during a brief 9 month period in which I was able to persuade my husband to quit drinking. Shortly after our wedding, he resumed his habits and, as is common with alcoholics, the problem has progressed over the susequent three years. I am angry with him for his lack of discipline, but I am also angry with myself for not advocating for myself and avoiding this whole relationship alltogether. I know that he is addicted to alcohol and that his choice to continure to drink is not personal - but it sure does affect me on a personal level. Be aware, that alcoholic's can be very charming and wonderful people in their sober state - it's very difficult to deny a person's goodness and potential even when they are at their worst. I want to believe that most people - especially those with whom I am in love - are inately good and I foolishly allow myself to bask in the fantasy of the "good times" (past -present - future) even in the midst of dealing with a drunken tirade. Jen - you have done the right thing. I made that choice only 15 days ago, and I know that I have too. I have been confronted with third party recounts of the horrible things that my husband is telling other people about me (he's drunk dialing them mind you) and how he is blaming me for our separation. I even have his mother at my heals offering to pray for me to be able to deepen my commitment and love for her son and find a way to honor my marriage vows. The thing is this - as brutal as this situation is to deal with...I am having to accept the real possibility that my husband will continue to choose alcohol, and that this relationship will end in a legal divorce. I also must accept that he cannot accept the blame - of course not - he's in denial that he even has a problem; therefore, it must be me that has caused such discourse in our relationship for whatever my reason. I tried the rolling along to the bars and drinking along with him thing....I found that he was immune to hangovers and I was not....we also experienced terrible intoxicated arguments to which I could not be sure the next day that I did not initiate because I'd also been drinking. It just doesn't work to try to join the alcoholic. I'm now assuring myself that I am exhibitting my most loving behavior ever by respecting my husband's free will and leaving him to determine his own life changes. I want him so much and I miss the good things about him so much that it takes my breath away...but I just can't live with a ticking time bomb (nor can my two children) any more. We can't control our husband's choices and, yes, we risk a complete loss of the relationship, but we're obviously both at points where we cannot subject ourselves to any more of the drunken antics. I don't worry, now that he's moved out, if I am going to come home to the drunk and I go to bed at night knowing that I will not be awakened in the midst of my slumber with a verbal assault (because he's been drinking alone once the family is asleep) of all of the ways that I have failed him and our relationship - those are just thinly veiled attempts at blaming his drunkenness on me. I cancelled our couple's counseling - I believe that without our agreement with regard to abstainence from alcohol we have no basis to resolve other relational issues. The drinking really is the deal killer. I'm sorry you all are going through the pain caused by alcoholism. The good news is...my therapist tells me that it's a mistake we rarely make twice. I read the posting from Jen Dec 1 and it really spoke to me. My husband’s reputation preceeded our meeting, and I knew what I was getting into when we initiated a relationship. Two years later, we married during a brief 9 month period in which I was able to persuade my husband to quit drinking. Shortly after our wedding, he resumed his habits and, as is common with alcoholics, the problem has progressed over the susequent three years. I am angry with him for his lack of discipline, but I am also angry with myself for not advocating for myself and avoiding this whole relationship alltogether. I know that he is addicted to alcohol and that his choice to continure to drink is not personal – but it sure does affect me on a personal level.
Be aware, that alcoholic’s can be very charming and wonderful people in their sober state – it’s very difficult to deny a person’s goodness and potential even when they are at their worst. I want to believe that most people – especially those with whom I am in love – are inately good and I foolishly allow myself to bask in the fantasy of the “good times” (past -present – future) even in the midst of dealing with a drunken tirade.
Jen – you have done the right thing. I made that choice only 15 days ago, and I know that I have too. I have been confronted with third party recounts of the horrible things that my husband is telling other people about me (he’s drunk dialing them mind you) and how he is blaming me for our separation. I even have his mother at my heals offering to pray for me to be able to deepen my commitment and love for her son and find a way to honor my marriage vows.
The thing is this – as brutal as this situation is to deal with…I am having to accept the real possibility that my husband will continue to choose alcohol, and that this relationship will end in a legal divorce. I also must accept that he cannot accept the blame – of course not – he’s in denial that he even has a problem; therefore, it must be me that has caused such discourse in our relationship for whatever my reason.
I tried the rolling along to the bars and drinking along with him thing….I found that he was immune to hangovers and I was not….we also experienced terrible intoxicated arguments to which I could not be sure the next day that I did not initiate because I’d also been drinking. It just doesn’t work to try to join the alcoholic.
I’m now assuring myself that I am exhibitting my most loving behavior ever by respecting my husband’s free will and leaving him to determine his own life changes. I want him so much and I miss the good things about him so much that it takes my breath away…but I just can’t live with a ticking time bomb (nor can my two children) any more. We can’t control our husband’s choices and, yes, we risk a complete loss of the relationship, but we’re obviously both at points where we cannot subject ourselves to any more of the drunken antics. I don’t worry, now that he’s moved out, if I am going to come home to the drunk and I go to bed at night knowing that I will not be awakened in the midst of my slumber with a verbal assault (because he’s been drinking alone once the family is asleep) of all of the ways that I have failed him and our relationship – those are just thinly veiled attempts at blaming his drunkenness on me. I cancelled our couple’s counseling – I believe that without our agreement with regard to abstainence from alcohol we have no basis to resolve other relational issues. The drinking really is the deal killer.
I’m sorry you all are going through the pain caused by alcoholism. The good news is…my therapist tells me that it’s a mistake we rarely make twice.

]]> By: Sandy http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-58797 Sandy Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:58:12 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-58797 Wow... Crazy how so many of us go through the same type of life... To Jen, I can relate to the blame, the accusations of "abandon", everything always relies on me. That's just the immaturity going along with the alcoholism, and what makes it worst is that often his family will agree with him, and even encourage him to blame me... They even told him it was because of me that he was drinking!!! How sick is this? How can he be sane after growing up in that unhealthy environment? I walked away six months ago and until today had not made a decision to really end it. But all these posts are signs we can't ignore. What also motivated me is that I know that staying won't help HIM either. He has to hit bottom to be able to get up. Will he or won't he, I can't control... Time will tell. I wish him only the best, he is just a sick person who needs recovery... but unfortunately I can't stay with a sick person who is not trying to heal himself, only makes me sick myself... To Marie, I would say even if he brought you in this country, that doesn't mean you can't be treated with respect. It shouldn't be a factor, and I'm sure deep down inside you know this.... Care for yourself and remind yourself you are not doing him a favour either by staying and enabling him. And since you seem to have a job and make money, run while you can!! I am terrified and devastated, but I finally come to understand I have to do this, for myself... Think of what you would tell a best-friend who comes to you with this problem... and then apply it to yourself. Courage to all of us, recovery is a long road, but so rewarding... Wow… Crazy how so many of us go through the same type of life… To Jen, I can relate to the blame, the accusations of “abandon”, everything always relies on me. That’s just the immaturity going along with the alcoholism, and what makes it worst is that often his family will agree with him, and even encourage him to blame me… They even told him it was because of me that he was drinking!!! How sick is this? How can he be sane after growing up in that unhealthy environment? I walked away six months ago and until today had not made a decision to really end it. But all these posts are signs we can’t ignore. What also motivated me is that I know that staying won’t help HIM either. He has to hit bottom to be able to get up. Will he or won’t he, I can’t control… Time will tell. I wish him only the best, he is just a sick person who needs recovery… but unfortunately I can’t stay with a sick person who is not trying to heal himself, only makes me sick myself…

To Marie, I would say even if he brought you in this country, that doesn’t mean you can’t be treated with respect. It shouldn’t be a factor, and I’m sure deep down inside you know this…. Care for yourself and remind yourself you are not doing him a favour either by staying and enabling him. And since you seem to have a job and make money, run while you can!! I am terrified and devastated, but I finally come to understand I have to do this, for myself… Think of what you would tell a best-friend who comes to you with this problem… and then apply it to yourself.

Courage to all of us, recovery is a long road, but so rewarding…

]]> By: Shelly http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-58786 Shelly Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:32:19 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-58786 I just moved out this week and my heart hurts so bad. He is a nice drunk that is what makes this so hard. He has a child with CF and I have had her since she was 4 now she is 14. He will not llet me have her but I have a 12 year old that I had to get out. He never puts his hands on any of us but everyday he drinks at least a 12 pack. He tells me that I'm crazy that I.m going through the change. I started believing and relized that I wasn't crazy I was just going bc of him. I so scared of what will happen to him and his daughter but I pray this wakes him up and he gets help!!!!!! Lost and scared in TN I just moved out this week and my heart hurts so bad. He is a nice drunk that is what makes this so hard. He has a child with CF and I have had her since she was 4 now she is 14. He will not llet me have her but I have a 12 year old that I had to get out. He never puts his hands on any of us but everyday he drinks at least a 12 pack. He tells me that I’m crazy that I.m going through the change. I started believing and relized that I wasn’t crazy I was just going bc of him. I so scared of what will happen to him and his daughter but I pray this wakes him up and he gets help!!!!!! Lost and scared in TN

]]> By: Jen http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-58710 Jen Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:01:27 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-58710 As I read all these comments about husbands and alcohol, I too can relate. Unfortunately, my husband and I have been married just OVER a year and have been together for more than 8 years on and off. I knew he drank when I married him, I didn't know how out of control he would get later on in our marriage. After two weekends in a row of him not coming home, I asked him to go to marriage counseling. He wanted none of it. I asked him to apologize for his actions, he denied any wrong doing. I began going out to the bars with him, because I wanted to spend time with him and show affection, but not only did that backfire on me, it made matters worse. After a drunken night, and him degrading me, I decided it was best for a separation, and moved out. Now that I have been moved out two weeks, he won't speak to me at all. He told his family (whom I'm close with) that I abandoned him and he only wanted a week of thinking things through. I know I can have an attitude, I know I can be a bitch, but after everything I put up with, I felt moving out was the best thing for me. Now, I feel if our marriage doesn't work, it's going to be all blamed on me. Any words of advice or encouragement would help. Or if anyone is in my similar situation, I would love to talk about it. I honestly want my marriage to work, but this Co-Dependent person I have become, I absolutely hate. I did what I had to do, to get strong, gain my confidence back and know I am worth it. I hate feeilng like I was in the wrong. Thanks for reading! God Bless! As I read all these comments about husbands and alcohol, I too can relate. Unfortunately, my husband and I have been married just OVER a year and have been together for more than 8 years on and off. I knew he drank when I married him, I didn’t know how out of control he would get later on in our marriage. After two weekends in a row of him not coming home, I asked him to go to marriage counseling. He wanted none of it. I asked him to apologize for his actions, he denied any wrong doing. I began going out to the bars with him, because I wanted to spend time with him and show affection, but not only did that backfire on me, it made matters worse. After a drunken night, and him degrading me, I decided it was best for a separation, and moved out. Now that I have been moved out two weeks, he won’t speak to me at all. He told his family (whom I’m close with) that I abandoned him and he only wanted a week of thinking things through. I know I can have an attitude, I know I can be a bitch, but after everything I put up with, I felt moving out was the best thing for me. Now, I feel if our marriage doesn’t work, it’s going to be all blamed on me. Any words of advice or encouragement would help. Or if anyone is in my similar situation, I would love to talk about it. I honestly want my marriage to work, but this Co-Dependent person I have become, I absolutely hate. I did what I had to do, to get strong, gain my confidence back and know I am worth it. I hate feeilng like I was in the wrong. Thanks for reading! God Bless!

]]> By: Teri http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-58683 Teri Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:07:40 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-58683 Vanessa hon my heart goes out so much to you. I have raised two childern living with an alcoholic . It would be so much better for you and your child to leave now while she is stil young. I can tell you none of this is easy. I left when my third child was six. I can already see the difference between her and my oldest two. For both of your mental well being I strongly suggest living now. Honey God be with you. Vanessa hon my heart goes out so much to you. I have raised two childern living with an alcoholic . It would be so much better for you and your child to leave now while she is stil young. I can tell you none of this is easy. I left when my third child was six. I can already see the difference between her and my oldest two. For both of your mental well being I strongly suggest living now. Honey God be with you.

]]> By: vanessa http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-58682 vanessa Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:17:22 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-58682 My husband is an alcoholic and admits it. We have been married almost 10 years now. We married when we were 18. We have a 5 year old beautiful daughter. He drank and started the physical abuse before we married. Everything is worse than before. He still drinks, he smokes marajuana and sells it, and snorts crushed up prescription pills. He truely has a problem.I have threatened many times to leave if he don't change. He makes these promises and changes for a week and then goes back to his habits. His friends are constantly coming over and they hang out outside while me and my daughter wait for him to come in to spend time with us. He nevers takes me on dates or stuff to do for the family. I feel like he doesn't wanna spend time with us like doing fun stuff. We are always being pushed second in his life. I might sound selfish but I feel that my daughter and I should come first. Im so tired of his broken promises. I just can't take it anymore, but he cries to me saying that he needs me and he can't live without us. He has threatened to kill himself many times if I left. I just can't live with that if he ever went through with it. I feel that we are possessions to him. He says he loves us over and over yet he puts no effort into showing us how much he loves us. Words are only words. He is the only man I've ever been sexually with and he accusses me everytime someone talks to me. He even has made some comments about our daughter not being his. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart is telling to move on but I'm so worried what it will do to my daughter, and worried about the house we are buying. I'm not sure if I can financially make it on my own. We have too many bills. I feel like he has this power over me and its his way everytime. Just last week we were fighting and I got mad and threw my ring at him. He got furious!! The look in his eyes was scary. He came at me with his fist in the air. I screamed and cowered into a ball and covered my head with my hands and arms. He didn't touch me, thank GOD. I told myself that he nor any other man will ever make me feel like that or put their hands on me again. Through our 11 years together(dating 1 year-married 10 years) he has punched me, bit me , pulled my hair, pushed me down, tried to make me cut him with a knife, spit on my face, all several times. I don't even know him. I don't even like being around him anymore. I truely don't even know if I even love him anymore. I've been hurt so many times. I don't want this unhealthy realtionship with him, and I know the tension, yelling and fighting is not healthy for our daughter. I wanna leave but I just don't know how. I try telling him how I feel but he turns it around on me. There is just no talking to him. He always criticizing instead of complementing. I know if have made my misktakes in the past like talking to another man. My husband found out and has never trusted me since. He constantly brings the other man up. I would talk to the other man on the phone and did no more than kiss. That was 3 years ago. I stayed to make this marriage work and to keep this family together but its not going anywhere. I just don't know what to do.... My husband is an alcoholic and admits it. We have been married almost 10 years now. We married when we were 18. We have a 5 year old beautiful daughter. He drank and started the physical abuse before we married. Everything is worse than before. He still drinks, he smokes marajuana and sells it, and snorts crushed up prescription pills. He truely has a problem.I have threatened many times to leave if he don’t change. He makes these promises and changes for a week and then goes back to his habits. His friends are constantly coming over and they hang out outside while me and my daughter wait for him to come in to spend time with us. He nevers takes me on dates or stuff to do for the family. I feel like he doesn’t wanna spend time with us like doing fun stuff. We are always being pushed second in his life. I might sound selfish but I feel that my daughter and I should come first. Im so tired of his broken promises. I just can’t take it anymore, but he cries to me saying that he needs me and he can’t live without us. He has threatened to kill himself many times if I left. I just can’t live with that if he ever went through with it. I feel that we are possessions to him. He says he loves us over and over yet he puts no effort into showing us how much he loves us. Words are only words. He is the only man I’ve ever been sexually with and he accusses me everytime someone talks to me. He even has made some comments about our daughter not being his. I don’t know what to do anymore. My heart is telling to move on but I’m so worried what it will do to my daughter, and worried about the house we are buying. I’m not sure if I can financially make it on my own. We have too many bills. I feel like he has this power over me and its his way everytime. Just last week we were fighting and I got mad and threw my ring at him. He got furious!! The look in his eyes was scary. He came at me with his fist in the air. I screamed and cowered into a ball and covered my head with my hands and arms. He didn’t touch me, thank GOD. I told myself that he nor any other man will ever make me feel like that or put their hands on me again. Through our 11 years together(dating 1 year-married 10 years) he has punched me, bit me , pulled my hair, pushed me down, tried to make me cut him with a knife, spit on my face, all several times. I don’t even know him. I don’t even like being around him anymore. I truely don’t even know if I even love him anymore. I’ve been hurt so many times. I don’t want this unhealthy realtionship with him, and I know the tension, yelling and fighting is not healthy for our daughter. I wanna leave but I just don’t know how. I try telling him how I feel but he turns it around on me. There is just no talking to him. He always criticizing instead of complementing. I know if have made my misktakes in the past like talking to another man. My husband found out and has never trusted me since. He constantly brings the other man up. I would talk to the other man on the phone and did no more than kiss. That was 3 years ago. I stayed to make this marriage work and to keep this family together but its not going anywhere. I just don’t know what to do….

]]> By: BARBARA http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-58488 BARBARA Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:34:49 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-58488 Dianna, my heart goes out to you for two battles you are fighting. #1 your cancer, #2 living with an alcoholic. Both of these things can kill you. Your husband should be there to help you right now, and NOT be making things worse. Have you been to counseling? It has helped me tremendously. I can say this, if you have put out such a courageous battle against cancer, you are a very strong minded woman. Do not under-estimate yourself. Surround yourself with people that encourage you, not discourage you. Don't feel sorry for him, this is his problem to solve. My husband has been sorber for 3 months now but only AFTER, I told him I wanted a divorce. This is not something you can bluff your way out of, you have to mean it and he has to hit rock bottom. You beautiful woman should spend your time and energy on recovery for yourself. Please put yourself first because he will not. Barbara Dianna, my heart goes out to you for two battles you are fighting. #1 your cancer, #2 living with an alcoholic. Both of these things can kill you. Your husband should be there to help you right now, and NOT be making things worse. Have you been to counseling? It has helped me tremendously. I can say this, if you have put out such a courageous battle against cancer, you are a very strong minded woman. Do not under-estimate yourself. Surround yourself with people that encourage you, not discourage you. Don’t feel sorry for him, this is his problem to solve. My husband has been sorber for 3 months now but only AFTER, I told him I wanted a divorce. This is not something you can bluff your way out of, you have to mean it and he has to hit rock bottom.

You beautiful woman should spend your time and energy on recovery for yourself. Please put yourself first because he will not.

Barbara

]]> By: Dianna http://www.wendypiersall.com/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/comment-page-3/#comment-58465 Dianna Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:09:06 +0000 http://wendypiersall.com/2007/01/10/when-is-it-time-to-leave-an-alcoholic/#comment-58465 I can so relate to all of the comments. I am a recovering cancer patient and I have been married forever. My husband was a recovering acholic and did really well when I went through chemo. Now that I am going through radation treatments and I am eating and feeling better all hell is breaking lose. He is so drunk that he can't function most of the time. I know a lot of this has to do with him not working (can't keep a job). I am at my witts end! I don't really want to leave him but at the same time I don't want to keep going through this. I would really appericate any insight anyone can offer. Take care I can so relate to all of the comments.
I am a recovering cancer patient and I have been married forever. My husband was a recovering acholic and did really well when I went through chemo. Now that I am going through radation treatments and I am eating and feeling better all hell is breaking lose. He is so drunk that he can’t function most of the time. I know a lot of this has to do with him not working (can’t keep a job).
I am at my witts end! I don’t really want to leave him but at the same time I don’t want to keep going through this. I would really appericate any insight anyone can offer.

Take care

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